As life was supposed to be winding down after my husband’s retirement I was drawn back to my roots, Texas! I started to see clearly that the life surrounding me was not my own. My children had moved on to various hopes, dreams and a few let downs. All I could see before me was a big house that I had to vacuum. I had a beautiful pool that I rarely swam in. I spent most of my days maintaining a useless house. I knew that this was no longer my home.
The people that I thought were my friends were very much detached and suddenly sur
real to me. Oh, we were all friendly. I mean I went to church. And through the motions of being a good Christian. God does His best work when I’m not paying attention. It all began to seem aimless. I had no purposeful intention. I was happiest at Mass. It was and is the highest form of prayer for me and my soul. But it could not be continuous for me. My empty home terrified me. I was a homemaker, a wife, and a Mother.
No one needed me daily anymore and that was haunting. We thought about getting a smaller place. That depressed the hell out of me. The idea of returning to Texas didn’t come to me. It was definitely my husband. We talked about get more bang for our buck. I was immediately happier.
The Obama years were not kind to us financially. I was surrounded daily by the ramifications of the sins of others. By that, I mean that quite a few divorces of friends and neighbors started to get to me. As though I thought it would be contagious. Their daily deluge of excuses, selfishness, and narcissism became nauseating within me. It was very strange to my psyche. My problem was that these different versions of marriage were starting to sound normal to me. I would party with these people. That’s when I caught myself in a crisis of conscience. These were not normal marriages. Their sins were neither original nor normal!. This one loses a lot of weight. She thinks she’s hot now. So she starts partying with men in clubs and oops! She fools around on her husband. That one starts to work out. Now he begins to wear chain necklaces and tank tops in the dead of winter! We had our cold days too in San Diego. Oh! And he needed the tanning booths. These were obviously danger signs. Then his wife, a former gymnast reveals to me in a spa one day that her husband with the new physique is leaving her and their daughter on Tuesday. It was Saturday. Oh, and by the way, she then says she hopes he mows the lawn before he leaves. Then another one finds out that her son is a pedophile. The neighbor down the street who has been missing for two years? Her husband said she took off on drugs. I thought that was strange. I’ve never seen her have a beer or a glass of wine. Well, they found her body in the backyard. She was a friend. She taught me how to put on fake nails and how to sew. When I had gone into labor with my last baby, she was my game plan to watch the kids when I went into labor. And one early morning at 4 am, that’s what she did. If all of this sounds normal to you, you must be a Californian.
Given the opportunity to get the hell out of there, I jumped happily in our Chevy Silverado Truck, and got my Republican black ass back to TEXAS where I belong!. Yee!! Haaaw!! I think we left skid marks on our old driveway! And the rest is my story. Stay tuned!